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 | | The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? by Leslie Bennetts ISBN-10: 9781401303068 ISBN-10: 1-4013-0306-4 ISBN-13: 9781401303068 ISBN-13: 978-1-4013-0306-8 Hardcover 2007-04-03 Voice Find Lowest Price |
Editorials | ||
Product Description Women are constantly being told that it's simply too difficult to balance work and family, so if they don't really "have to" work, it's better for their families if they stay home. Not only is this untrue, Leslie Bennetts says, but the arguments in favor of stay-at-home motherhood fail to consider the surprising benefits of work and the unexpected toll of giving it up. It's time, she says, to get the message across -- combining work and family really is the best choice for most women, and it's eminently doable. Bennetts and millions of other working women provide ample proof that there are many different ways to have kids, maintain a challenging career, and have a richly rewarding life as a result. Earning money and being successful not only make women feel great, but when women sacrifice their financial autonomy by quitting their jobs, they become vulnerable to divorce as well as the potential illness, death, or unemployment of their breadwinner husbands. Further, they forfeit the intellectual, emotional, psychological, and even medical benefits of self-sufficiency. The truth is that when women gamble on dependancy, most eventually end up on the wrong side of the odds. In riveting interviews with women from a wide range of backgrounds, Bennetts tells their dramatic stories -- some triumphant, others heartbreaking. The Feminine Mistake will inspire women to accept the challenge of figuring out who they are and what they want to do with their lives in addition to raising children. Not since Betty Friedan has anyone offered such an eye-opening and persuasive argument for why women can -- and should -- embrace the joyously complex lives they deserve. | ||
Reviews | ||
Even more important with today's economy I first read this book shortly after it came out. I have waited to write a review because I wanted the controversy to die down. When I saw the reviews they were either 5 star or 1 star so I knew it was going to be controversial. Coming from an upper middle class home that broke up due to poor money decisions on both parent's sides I have always been fascinated by people and their relationship with their finances. My mother never saw the end coming and to this day lives for tomorrow even though she is almost 74 and still working. I think about several of the women in the book and today's economy. Just look at Ruth Madoff (I am pretty sure she never expected to be attempting to rent an apartment at her age). There is a whole new group of literature called "Hen Lit" that shows women having to try and survive and raise their children after their marriage and financial circumstances change. If a woman wants to assume that everything will work out fine she should at least consider her children. Having a comfortable and stable life abruptly taken from you as a youngster has some pretty awful consequences. I don't think any mother out there would want to see their child have their stability taken away from them. I am hoping that Leslie Bennetts will write an update to this book taking into consideration the current economic circumstances. Interviewing some Wall Street wives and Main Street wives who now are looking for work to keep their kids in school may change some women's perspectives on this book. I consider this one of the most relevant books I have read that directly impacts myself and my kids. | ||
Well done! Well researched and thought out. Leslie Bennetts does a fabulous job of showing that economic dependency is a very bad idea for women and children. | ||
A must read, excellent book In my mind the business world is too competitive, stressful, and full of politics, in times of crisis to be in certain offices sucks all your energy, so after many years growing in different positions I decided to quit my job to take a "break" for 8 months by going to university full time and shifting the focus of my career to something I feel more excited about. I'm able to do that because of my career and because I have been very responsible with my finances, but I forgot that when I started to tell my husband (we have decided to get pregnant) that I should stay at home when we have a baby. Then I found this book and I'm like What I was thinking??? the way I read it was: don't give up your options, if you hate what you're doing at work improve your situation, change employers, change careers, get creative on what your doing, get education, do whatever it takes to make yourself happy at work but don't drop the benefits of being productive, of having a public and private life, of being out there in the world, and if you have kids look for options too. It is very easy to get seduce by the idea that "the grass is greener on the other side", I respect those who love to stay at home but why to reduce roles of myself that enrich my life, I better increase my roles by becoming a mother, but I would not give up one for the other, I didn't stop being a daughter when I became a wife, although I know about people that forget their parents when they have their own families. I think it's a question of choices, why to reduce my choices when I can enlarge them? I like Bennetts message, we don't need to be perfect, we just need to be good enough at what we do, nobody is expecting us to be perfect , so why do we expect us to be perfect, why to try to master one role. I'm really motivated to get back to the work force after reading Bennetts, and I'm already exploring our options if we're blessed with a baby and two full-time jobs, I know that when both parents are really involved with their kids even if they work full-time you can get responsible adults that grow to admire how their own parents did it, I realized I was not playing with the idea of staying at home because I missed my parents when I was a child, by the contrary I'm so independent thanks to their raising, I was not willing to go back to the work force so quickly because I still have to test how much I like my new direction, and that can be scary. This was a great book to make me re-think my own assumptions about work-life, about family, about my roles, even to look at my own family history and its lessons. | ||
Working Mom The message of making an informed decision (which I really support) is clouded by the author's obvious bias and condescending tone towards moms who decide to work at home. As a result, I think the author polarizes readers with no middle ground between the superficial definitions of a women who stays in the workforce while raising a family or those who have chosen to devote "her life to performing unpaid domestic services" (p.29). Really couldn't read any more past the first chapter because of the way in which the book was written. Especially when the second chapter entitled "Opting Out" is followed by the quote, "It's like the slaughter of the lambs." | ||
The Feminine Mistake reviewer Laura Dupuis, Commerce, MI Simply put: This book does not take sides it points out the reality of needing to have a plan B. Love does not always last forever and lives can be cut short. It is a fact not an accusation that womens lives are more often than not the ones turned financially upside down by divorce and death. The author is simply advocating caution and common sense when it comes to relinquishing monetary control. Could you carry your household if your partner lost their job tomorrow or was injured? Do you have the skills necessary to get a job or resume a career? These are not feminist issues they are relevant, "head out of the sand" real life concerns. We may not want to think about these things but we must! | ||